Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog)

Richard Latimer

Hopefully this can be of use to a few other members as well as me but I would love to hear some advice/info/stories from those with a wife and small children who have managed to combine the two and keep everyone happy while also taking their trading to the next level.

I know only recently on the football forum this was relevant to someone else who misses most of the day after putting all the plans in place. I'll find him and tag him.

Dog's just started shouting - that reminds he's as much part of this as everyone else haha!

Recently on holiday I had planned to keep trading through my phone but after endless notifications and evil looks from the wife as well as annoyed/confused ones from everyone else I decided it wasn't worth ruining my holiday and knocked it on the head straight away. It was a busy Saturday afternoon (3PM window) and I was on the beach with an excitable dog and kids......so me keep checking my phone was rather noticeable and I mustn't lie her, spoiling my own enjoyment as well.

A week away from it all was fine. But it isn't just holidays. Football happens during those precious weekeend moments and unless you just want to be a hermit and sit on your own all day waiting for the right 'opportunities' how do you family men (women) manage the time and balance it all out?

I have tried to keep it so I can act on notifications no matter where I am and what I'm doing and in terms of getting the notifications, having the signal nd acting upon those notifications I can do it.....but at what cost?

In rela terms it's not practical. The wife gets fed up every time she hears another explosion from my phone and asks me if I can please put the phone away. The kids see me on phone and use it against me when they are not allowed to use electronics, strangers end up making comments about how I don't need my phone while walking in the country......and they're right. I shouldn't.

So what gives?

Do you set aside a time regardless of what is on inbetween, do you say fair game when you're at home but as soon as you step outside the door you put it down (properly). Does it depend on whether you're out to have fun or in the supermarket/shops??

Right now, there's another busy Sunday ahead where it's pretty much football from 2pm onwards and unless I stay on my own and miss out on any family stuff I need to start finding that balance asap.

Ryan

This is where a plan works so well, especially if your trading is at HT.

Jump in BTC see forum, get the stats for your selections.

Add them to an app with alerts
Get the selections on evernote (others are available)

Alert comes in check it, great 0-0HT right off we go, place the LTD - alert goal trade out.

If using stop losses then I just use the alarm function on my phone set it for the duration of the trade.

Richard Latimer

@jordan-kane said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

I am at the start of my trading journey but also finding it difficult to juggle my trading, my full-time job and spending time with my wife and 2 month old daughter.

As I am still learning I definitely have fear of missing out and I am constantly checking Bet365 in-play and this forum for potential trades but like people have said above, I end up picking my phone up every spare second which isn't the way to do it!

On Sunday I planned my trades in the morning and set an alarm on my phone to remind me of the specific trades, I didn't trade anything else that wasn't on my plan. It ended up being a profitable day and I didn't spend hours on my phone.

Yes, I would have missed plenty of opportunities but I think this needs to be the way forward for me now - trade what you have planned to and forget the fear of missing out.

Exactly what I'm doing. But I still have a big long list of potentials. Just realise I can't get on them unless the situation permits.

Ryan

@jordan-kane Love it!! Thats the way to do it, I'll spend some time most days reading through the forum - it enhances my knowledge, spurs creativity and also gives me time away from exchanges

? Offline

I am at the start of my trading journey but also finding it difficult to juggle my trading, my full-time job and spending time with my wife and 2 month old daughter.

As I am still learning I definitely have fear of missing out and I am constantly checking Bet365 in-play and this forum for potential trades but like people have said above, I end up picking my phone up every spare second which isn't the way to do it!

On Sunday I planned my trades in the morning and set an alarm on my phone to remind me of the specific trades, I didn't trade anything else that wasn't on my plan. It ended up being a profitable day and I didn't spend hours on my phone.

Yes, I would have missed plenty of opportunities but I think this needs to be the way forward for me now - trade what you have planned to and forget the fear of missing out.

Richard Latimer

@john-folan said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

@richard-latimer said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

@keith-anderson said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

It certainly isn't easy, @Richard-Latimer

Trial and error - just like the trading. There has to be compromises from everyone. I have a 9 year old daughter with Autism, a wife and a large extended family. I'm also a respite foster carer. Add in my work, my wife's career, my daughter's drama, dancing, singing lessons and gymnastics then it's a wonder I have any time for trading at all.

I might have a lot of potential trades per day, but because I LTD at HT then I don't need to be checking my phone all the time. There are set times. The more trades or markets you try to enter the more attention trading needs.

I remember the professionals saying to stick to one market on one sport until you have mastered it. An unsuspected benefit of this is being able to spend less time trading.

I still don't use automation - just my mobile to trade with. Yet I still do okay. In essence I think I've found a way to trade and still juggle all of the above.

Like me, without the phone I wouldn't be able to do it at all. Even with Ltd @ ht though you still have to keep notifications on for goals.

I know I can find the balance though. Yesterday worked perfectly and I still missed a couple so shows it can be done.

Is that because you trade out after a goal? You can set auto cash out on the betfair app. It’s basic but it works.

Good point. Don't always cash immediately though. Depends on who scores and odds of favourite pre kick-off.

Akiva Anderson

@richard-latimer said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

@keith-anderson said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

It certainly isn't easy, @Richard-Latimer

Trial and error - just like the trading. There has to be compromises from everyone. I have a 9 year old daughter with Autism, a wife and a large extended family. I'm also a respite foster carer. Add in my work, my wife's career, my daughter's drama, dancing, singing lessons and gymnastics then it's a wonder I have any time for trading at all.

I might have a lot of potential trades per day, but because I LTD at HT then I don't need to be checking my phone all the time. There are set times. The more trades or markets you try to enter the more attention trading needs.

I remember the professionals saying to stick to one market on one sport until you have mastered it. An unsuspected benefit of this is being able to spend less time trading.

I still don't use automation - just my mobile to trade with. Yet I still do okay. In essence I think I've found a way to trade and still juggle all of the above.

Like me, without the phone I wouldn't be able to do it at all. Even with Ltd @ ht though you still have to keep notifications on for goals.

I know I can find the balance though. Yesterday worked perfectly and I still missed a couple so shows it can be done.

You could use the 'automatic cash out' feature

John Folan

@richard-latimer said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

@keith-anderson said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

It certainly isn't easy, @Richard-Latimer

Trial and error - just like the trading. There has to be compromises from everyone. I have a 9 year old daughter with Autism, a wife and a large extended family. I'm also a respite foster carer. Add in my work, my wife's career, my daughter's drama, dancing, singing lessons and gymnastics then it's a wonder I have any time for trading at all.

I might have a lot of potential trades per day, but because I LTD at HT then I don't need to be checking my phone all the time. There are set times. The more trades or markets you try to enter the more attention trading needs.

I remember the professionals saying to stick to one market on one sport until you have mastered it. An unsuspected benefit of this is being able to spend less time trading.

I still don't use automation - just my mobile to trade with. Yet I still do okay. In essence I think I've found a way to trade and still juggle all of the above.

Like me, without the phone I wouldn't be able to do it at all. Even with Ltd @ ht though you still have to keep notifications on for goals.

I know I can find the balance though. Yesterday worked perfectly and I still missed a couple so shows it can be done.

Is that because you trade out after a goal? You can set auto cash out on the betfair app. It’s basic but it works.

Richard Latimer

@keith-anderson said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

It certainly isn't easy, @Richard-Latimer

Trial and error - just like the trading. There has to be compromises from everyone. I have a 9 year old daughter with Autism, a wife and a large extended family. I'm also a respite foster carer. Add in my work, my wife's career, my daughter's drama, dancing, singing lessons and gymnastics then it's a wonder I have any time for trading at all.

I might have a lot of potential trades per day, but because I LTD at HT then I don't need to be checking my phone all the time. There are set times. The more trades or markets you try to enter the more attention trading needs.

I remember the professionals saying to stick to one market on one sport until you have mastered it. An unsuspected benefit of this is being able to spend less time trading.

I still don't use automation - just my mobile to trade with. Yet I still do okay. In essence I think I've found a way to trade and still juggle all of the above.

Like me, without the phone I wouldn't be able to do it at all. Even with Ltd @ ht though you still have to keep notifications on for goals.

I know I can find the balance though. Yesterday worked perfectly and I still missed a couple so shows it can be done.

Akiva Anderson

It certainly isn't easy, @Richard-Latimer

Trial and error - just like the trading. There has to be compromises from everyone. I have a 9 year old daughter with Autism, a wife and a large extended family. I'm also a respite foster carer. Add in my work, my wife's career, my daughter's drama, dancing, singing lessons and gymnastics then it's a wonder I have any time for trading at all.

I might have a lot of potential trades per day, but because I LTD at HT then I don't need to be checking my phone all the time. There are set times. The more trades or markets you try to enter the more attention trading needs.

I remember the professionals saying to stick to one market on one sport until you have mastered it. An unsuspected benefit of this is being able to spend less time trading.

I still don't use automation - just my mobile to trade with. Yet I still do okay. In essence I think I've found a way to trade and still juggle all of the above.

Richard Latimer

Taken everything on board today both from the wife and from here. I got an early trade in singapore while I walked the dog and shut my notifications down after.

Had a family picnic, played with my kids in the park and didn't turn it on again until I was in the car on the way home. Yes I missed a couple but I've made good since I got home with some very nice trades and there's still a few potentials to go. Most importantly everyone remains happy.

Richard Latimer

@lee-woodman said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

I understand your dilemma, i have a missus who works shifts, 2 step kids with us 7 days and my own 2 kids here half the time (all 4 aged 4-9). Plus a husky pup!

Youve definitely got to find a balance otherwise it can consume you and get in the way. Ive been slightly guilty of getting a bit too consumed with it and i have to be forced to wind it in. If its your income then it obviously has to take more of an importance than if its a side-hustle or something you are learning on the side. If i am doing some menial task like shopping then i have no guilt in keeping an eye on things or using my phone to check stuff or maybe even placing a trade on the go but if i go out with the kids or missus for a day out then i tend to make sure i switch off and enjoy the downtime.

Im lucky in the sense that my missus doesnt really give me stick for it as long as i dont take the p**s but i certainly try to be consciously reasonable about it to avoid that situation! So if i have an evening or day with not much on then ill just leave those trades altogether without being prompted as a compromise and use it as an opportunity of putting some brownie points in the kids/missus bank to be taken out some other time!

Thanks. All good advice.

? Offline

I have a wife, two kids (3 and 6) and a job. Trading doesn't really fit into my life unless I force it to. To be honest, whilst I'm learning I dont see the point in even telling my wife about it because she either wouldn't be interested or she would be worried I'm pissing what little money I have away "gambling" and she just wouldn't trust it. Therefore I do most of what little trading I can manage on my phone to keep it low key and also I can pick it up and put it down as I need to. I know that's not the best way to trade but it's the only way I can make it work right now. As I'm still very much learning I'm trying to stick to one method at a time otherwise it gets messy. I work in retail (hence trying to learn to trade in the first place) so even trading at weekends can be a struggle so what I decided recently is that trading really doesn't matter. It's something I want to learn (this group has been massively helpful in that, I have to say) and it's something that I would prefer to be more of a hobby for me and so as long as I'm making enough to cover this membership and I can continue learning then I'm choosing to see this as an education right now and when the kids both go to school full time I will put more time into it. If I could make a living from it then that would be massive but realistically to earn trading what I earn from my actual job I would only need to earn £200 a week so even trading part time I should be able to manage that before long.

Ultimately I have to ask myself why I'm trying to do this? Financial freedom definitely but it would also be brilliant to be at home more with my kids. Take my wife out more and just be around more in general. I cant do that if I'm stuck to my phone all day.

I think realistically I'm learning to be patient with it. I'm definitely fitting trading in around my life rather than the other way around. In the end if I can drop my hours at work and do more trading that would be great but I would never sacrifice my family for it because realistically they're the reason I'm doing it in the first place. I'm hoping that the more I grow my bank, however slow that happens, the more I can make without sacrificing too much time.

Sorry, that was long winded and probably didn't really help anyone lol.

? Offline

I understand your dilemma, i have a missus who works shifts, 2 step kids with us 7 days and my own 2 kids here half the time (all 4 aged 4-9). Plus a husky pup!

Youve definitely got to find a balance otherwise it can consume you and get in the way. Ive been slightly guilty of getting a bit too consumed with it and i have to be forced to wind it in. If its your income then it obviously has to take more of an importance than if its a side-hustle or something you are learning on the side. If i am doing some menial task like shopping then i have no guilt in keeping an eye on things or using my phone to check stuff or maybe even placing a trade on the go but if i go out with the kids or missus for a day out then i tend to make sure i switch off and enjoy the downtime.

Im lucky in the sense that my missus doesnt really give me stick for it as long as i dont take the p**s but i certainly try to be consciously reasonable about it to avoid that situation! So if i have an evening or day with not much on then ill just leave those trades altogether without being prompted as a compromise and use it as an opportunity of putting some brownie points in the kids/missus bank to be taken out some other time!

Finn Kristensen

@ryan-carruthers Will the back testing engine be for football also? If so, that would be fantastic, as I think that's the missing piece right now. Would certainly save me some time from testing ideas without knowing up front if they have any legs

Oh, and sounds very interesting too with the horse rcaing software - I must say, though, that it's a very competitive world you're entering there as there are a good number of providers in that area. I think football software is a less competitive marked (still), as, sure, there are lots of statistics sites but very few have actual software to automate selections etc and if we could get a back testing engine here you'd stand out much more than on the horse racing software marked.

John Folan

@richard-latimer said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

@john-folan said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

@richard-latimer said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

@john-folan said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

Bollocks to family. They are all annoying. My dad once said ‘if you ever want to have money don’t get married and have kids’. At the time I was not impressed. Now I consider him the wisest man I ever knew

I'll find this under.....how helpful haha!!

More seriously this is why I automate virtually everything. I can get it all done in an hour(two tops)

Then I no longer care for the rest of the day. If there’s nothing going on I will go and scalp the horses for a few hours. But. Automation is the way forward if you are time poor

Trouble is I'm also poor poor haha!

Honestly it is worth the £30 a month or whatever you can get it for.

Wives are funny. They can be on their phones all day yet you pick yours up once and they are on you like a rash. That said I used to be terrible for checking trades etc. Plus I was always on the phone for inane useless crap as well and i decided it needed to stop. So I turned off all notifications including text message. If it’s that important people can ring me.

I took all the trading apps off the phone and made the step to fully automate as much of my trading as possible. Harder than it sounds but so worth it. I can’t automate scalping, but I warn the missus in advance that I am going to be doing it and if I can’t do it on a certain day I do it on another as there will always be more races. Same applies to football etc.

People who don’t trade don’t understand that you need to spend a few years learning your trade before the real money starts. But as your bank grows take some out, treat the family or use it on the home. They will see the benefit then and that buys you some grace. Make a point of saying trading paid for this and there will be more to come.

I am still a way off where I want to be because I’ve done that, as Charles said, life gets in the way sometimes. But you have to balance family life with trading and this works for me. Hopefully some of it might help others.

Richard Latimer

@john-folan said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

@richard-latimer said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

@john-folan said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

Bollocks to family. They are all annoying. My dad once said ‘if you ever want to have money don’t get married and have kids’. At the time I was not impressed. Now I consider him the wisest man I ever knew

I'll find this under.....how helpful haha!!

More seriously this is why I automate virtually everything. I can get it all done in an hour(two tops)

Then I no longer care for the rest of the day. If there’s nothing going on I will go and scalp the horses for a few hours. But. Automation is the way forward if you are time poor

Trouble is I'm also poor poor haha!

Richard Latimer

@adam-williams Thanks Adam, really good advice.

John Folan

@richard-latimer said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

@john-folan said in Succesful Trading with a Demanding Family (+shouting puppy dog):

Bollocks to family. They are all annoying. My dad once said ‘if you ever want to have money don’t get married and have kids’. At the time I was not impressed. Now I consider him the wisest man I ever knew

I'll find this under.....how helpful haha!!

More seriously this is why I automate virtually everything. I can get it all done in an hour(two tops)

Then I no longer care for the rest of the day. If there’s nothing going on I will go and scalp the horses for a few hours. But. Automation is the way forward if you are time poor

Luke Ridger

@richard-latimer Don't be sorry, it happens. Just don't burn yourself into the ground or get fixated by being around at certain times, let it fit in with the family life.