A Cautionary Tale...
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Don't ever get too bogged down in this s**t that you neglect the most important things in your life for the sake of a trade regardless of whether you can do it quickly on your phone or not.
On Sunday morning I learnt my marriage of over 10 yrs and relationship of 17 yrs was coming to an end. The woman who I have two great kids with has finally decided enough is enough. She no longer wants to be with me. It's sure as s**t not just trading and covid among a few other things have exacerbated a situation which could potentially have been put right in more favourable circumstances.
Nevertheless, I look back on walks taken where I got my phone out every now and then amongst other similar situations and despite not doing that anymore the seeds were sown so that when I did eventially cut back it wasn't noticed as much. Only what had come before. You can't erase the past.
I've also spent the greater part of our lives interested in betting (do I rue the day I first found a sports betting forum and saw the pot of gold? hard to say. Maybe in a few years I'll realise it was meant to be) and thinking I could make my living from it. I may well get to that point, having changed my way of looking at things, but to what end.
I had an office job for over 10 yrs and in the end I probably took the p**s a little too much looking at betting//trading while I should have been working. The company restructured and I was made redundant. Something I was happy enough with at the time despite liking most of the people I worked with.
I then managed to find another office job with more money and this one failed for a few reasons not directly related to betting/trading. I have a neuroligical condition which had a big effect on my life as well but I must be clear, my wife has been nothing but supportive with this.
Consequently I ended up working part time for my cousin doing self employed leaflet delivery work which other than a small break where I worked in a factory pre-covid I still am now. This put imeasurable strain on the relationship with me knowing it was a matter of time until I could bring home the bacon (also had endless plans to expand and make more money in my cousins business which have yet to come to fruition) and my wife believing I was living in a dream world and needed to get real.
No money led to no time alone to ourselves (nights out, weekends away, holidays) and covid put the deathnail in it as no one was allowed to go out or do f**k all! I should have made more effort even in that time for walks etc... but now it's too late.
The 17ys are now to be just memories and what's ahead is a long slog of financial talk and making sure the kids don't suffer.
Please please please, whatever you do, don't make the same mistakes as me! It's simply not worth it.
Trading Spreadsheet linked below
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/3gnk1vku1krkoyfcq37y6/Trading-Bible.xlsx?rlkey=01eqhp8u73s61iy2s814sqfll&dl=0 -
Sorry to hear your news my thought are with you mate. Stay strong and focused on making your time with your kids special. Take care buddy
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Sorry to hear about this @Richard-Latimer It is always sad when a relationship ends. Thank you for sharing so others can see that not all that glitters is gold. Life is full of complexities and interruptions.
Wishing you the very best for your future endeavours, whatever they will be.
I’ve always found rock bottom a perfect place to build a solid foundation. Keep your head up, mate.
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@Ryan-Carruthers, @Martin-Futter I've just facebooked you.
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8 yr old daughter was handing me a tissue last night and getting ine for herself. 2Never seen you cry daddy". Very sweet haha!
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Thanks everyone, I've woken with a bit of a spring in my step this morning, it's fight or flight, sink or swim and I need to swim for my kids, it's that simple. All about making as much money as quickly as possible now so that when I do have to go out on my own I'm as ready as possible.
I think I've spent the last 2 days doing and saying anything to change it and I now realise that nothing I do or say can change it. My tears which were for losing my wife are leaning towards the time I'll lose with my kids even if we do share 50% custody.
I'm hardening to it all and doing what I need to. There's just no time to continue feeling sorry for myself.
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really sorry to hear this mate i went through a divorce 10 years ago and went through very bad depression because of it, you will have a lot of mixed emotions at the moment but it will get better but will take time, my life is great now but i never thought it would be so try and keep positive and surround yourself with good people. you have a lot of respect from everyone on here and im sure if you need a chat or anything one of us will be available.
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@richard-latimer So sorry to hear this Richard and although I've only just encountered you I understand completely what you will be going through having experienced similar. There are good people on here who will be there for you and if my experience is anything to go by the kids will be a proper comfort, if I can advise anything its allow yourself the time to repair.. it took me a year or so to look inwards and while some of it will make you address what you could have done better, some of it will show what you did right and that process of repair will be invaluable for your future... don't be alone with it tho, all strength to you and your family.
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Ah mate that is crap. Sorry to hear it.
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@martin-futter said in A Cautionary Tale...:
@richard-latimer hi mate so sorry to hear this.
is there definitely no way to reconcile? if it's just spending more time etc then hopefully you are able to give it another go. have you suggested or thought about couples counselling?
agree 100% on not getting addicted to it and checking phone when around loved ones etc and cancelling your social activities.
hope you are ok mate, we all love you a lot here and are here for you 100%
if you need to talk you know where we are
Yeah, there's nothing left. Tried it all.
Ticks and balances now.
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@richard-latimer hi mate so sorry to hear this.
is there definitely no way to reconcile? if it's just spending more time etc then hopefully you are able to give it another go. have you suggested or thought about couples counselling?
agree 100% on not getting addicted to it and checking phone when around loved ones etc and cancelling your social activities.
hope you are ok mate, we all love you a lot here and are here for you 100%
if you need to talk you know where we are
